The Lonesome Way
by f1r3storm
Summary: Just before the suicide mission, Commander Shepard reflects about her relationship to Liara.


_Introduction: Wrote this little piece a few months ago and already published it as a blog post on the BioWare Social Network._

_Everyone knows the scene before the jump through the Omega 4 Relay when you romanced Liara and i thought i should extend it a bit more._

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><p>It was that time again, right before the endgame. Just like two years ago, when they were pursuing Saren and were on their way to Ilos. Together with a strong team back then and today Shepard had assembled another team of excellent fighters, scientists and technical experts. And once again they were travelling right into the unknown, not sure what to expect, doubtful if they would survive all this.<p>

Just one thing was different this time. Shepard was alone. On their way to Ilos, she spend the time with Liara. A time she loves to remember. Since then, so much has changed. Two years have passed, two years in which Shepard was reconstructed by Cerberus. When she met Liara again on Illium, she could feel that there's still something between them. They kissed each other, but Liara was unable to really show her feelings, as if something was holding her back.

When she finished her business on Illium and left this fascinating world again, Shepard felt sad for a while. She didn't have the time to have a really extensive conversation with Liara. She seemed cold, distanced, but in the end Shepard couldn't blame her for that. She was gone for two years and she couldn't expect that everything goes back to normal right away. But still she missed her so much, especially having her adorable and lovely kind besides her.

Shepard wasn't sure if it was a mistake that she didn't talk with Liara about all this, her mission, her feelings. Liara certainly knew that it was dangerous and there was a chance she might loose her again. And yet Liara's her reason to come back, to be successful and to do everything that's necessary to save this galaxy. Because someone is waiting for her. They would just need some time to talk.

Even so she felt lonely in this moment, being alone in her cabin, while all the others did their jobs. They had to, because the Collectors took the crew with them when they attacked the Normandy. Everyone had something to do, no one had time to talk. Maybe EDI, but talking with a VI about her feelings seemed kinda strange.

So she sat on her bed, looking at Liara's picture in her left hand and having a drink in the other. Something that Kasumi showed her a few days ago. She didn't know the name, but it was good. And it helped her feeling a little better in this moment. She thought about sending a short message to Liara before they would jump through the Omega 4 Relay. The only problem was finding the right words for it. Something short like „I love you" just seemed wrong to her right now, although being the truth. Her thoughts were with Liara all the time in this situation, she didn't really think about the upcoming mission in the center of the galaxy, where the Collectors were hiding.

Shepard sat there for a whole hour, thinking, trying different messages. But she wasn't happy with any of them. She wanted to say all those things to her, but face to face. In the end, she threw the datapad to the floor, then brushing away a tear that ran down her cheek. She swore herself to return from this suicide mission, break up with Cerberus and then go back to Liara. Shepard would have done it right away, but she couldn't. Although she hated Cerberus, she realized that this mission was important, urgent and had to be done. And sometimes your enemy is your friend. At least for a while.

She stood up, placed Liara's picture back on her desk and went to take a quick, cold shower. A short time later she came back to take a last glimpse at the picture. She lowered her head and tried to clear her mind for now. The Omega 4 Relay was only like 30 minutes away and she still needed to put on her armor before the jump. Time to get it on.


End file.
